At sixteen you made a choice
to pick up that cigarette
light it
and inhale.
You thought you were so grownup
a man
who could make his own choice.
But what if you'd known
that breath at sixteen
would leave your daughter fatherless
at that very same age?
Is she old enough
to be alone
to teach herself to drive?
Is she old enough
to make choices well
at just sixteen years old?
Is she old enough
to replace your love
with that of a teenage boy?
Were you old enough
to make the choice
to leave your daughter fatherless
at the young age of sixteen years old?
Did you know that the moment
you took that first breath
it would be for life?
Did you know when you bought
the first pack
how strong the addiction would be?
Did you know when you had
your first cigarette
it would steal half the sand
from your life's hour glass?
Did you know you were signing
a lifelong contract
that would take away everything?
Did you know 47
was the last birthday you'd see?
Did you know the sacrifices you'd made?
What if you'd seen the tears to be shed
and known just what you would miss
the birthdays, the hugs
the moments, the love
stolen from you
by the fine print on the contract
you didn't know you'd s
Cradling you,
Limp in my arms,
Bones, and yellow skin,
Poking in to me,
I beg of you,
Eat.
The sight of food,
You vomit up blood,
All over me.
I do not care,
I will not leave.
Your hairs falling out,
Stringy and weak,
I hold it in my fingers,
Shaking,
Crying with you.
I wont let you die,
You can do this no more,
I look in those eyes,
So gray, loss of life,
You bruise so easily,
As i carry you to bathe,
Its like carrying a dead baby,
And laying it in its grave,
But you are not yet dead,
Food you shall eat,
Once so beautiful,
Weight will not be your defeat.
Anorexia may own you,
Your mind your heart your soul,
But
new york meets boston by YouInventedMe, literature
Literature
new york meets boston
breathless
broken
and all points in between
you're
as constant as I get
you're the picture I can't paint
and the words that just escape me
so finally
an open dedication to something worth finding
more than a friend
and less than next to nothing
dear inspirational intimidation
I'm offering everything
though
sometimes all I've got is
no idea
and no way back to the beginning
but
from here on out
what
you've
got
is
forever my heart
(surrounded by always-me packaging)
with love
in shades of unconditional
I know it's not much
but it's well intentioned
and
returnable
Thanks for the comments. And there's really no need to be jealous of my arms. I was 68 at that point, but my doctor threatened me with hospitalization and I had to gain some weight.
By the way, I'm 14.